22nd February 2013

Renaissance (noun): The spirit, culture, art, science, and thought of this cultural period. Characteristics of the Renaissance are usually considered to include a sense of individual human potentialities.

Only my third week in class, and I feel like it’s been so much longer in so many ways. I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about this post, and what I wanted to write.

Right now, I feel like I’m undergoing a type of renaissance in my mind. Certainly, I’m becoming so much more aware of who I am, what I believe in, and why I do the things I do. I think that’s a wonderful thing, and I’m really glad it’s happening. If I’m not fully aware of what motivates me, and drives my behaviour as a teacher and person, I can’t truly be self-accountable.

Over the past few weeks, I have begun taking more responsibility for my own learning, which has involved communicating clearly about the type of learner I am (a top down, visual processor of information) and what I need in order to learn effectively (an explicit overall structure/timetable and clear expectations/roles of me as a student within that). At times, I've felt it’s been quite difficult to do. I’ve felt really guilty that I’m causing other people to be annoyed with me, or that I’ve asked them for something that means work for them that they don’t want/need. Or that I'm asking for something with reasoning that they don't quite understand/agree with. I’ve also felt really overwhelmed and scared, because I’m so frightened of failing in something that means so much to me. It has made me come very close to walking away from something that deep down, I know I’d love to do and might even be really good at.

My learning experience came this week from an amazing little student in my class. This beautiful little man has some significant difficulties in communicating, motor planning and moving which means he has to work so much harder than some of his peers, just to be on a level playing field. Combined with a less than perfect home life, one might forgive him for not being very passionate about school, learning and even life. Yet not once have these factors stopped him. This amazing little boy contributes to the lesson every time, and advocates for himself with a gusto that I find inspirational. When he struggles, and isn’t understood, he doesn’t give up. He simply asks, and asks until someone finally helps him. Sometimes he uses a loud voice, especially when he believes it's important! He has perseverance, and a strong self-belief that he will reach his outcome. He is so happy, and so vibrant.

And then it hit me. I’m watching this little boy, and admiring these qualities in him. Why do I feel like I can’t admire some of those qualities in myself? It’s something I’d be proud of my own child achieving, and something I hope I can inspire my future students to do.

Certainly, I’ve realised that taking responsibility for your own learning might mean needing to self-advocate, to ensure that you receive the educational experience you were looking for, and that you deserve. That people give you information in a way YOU understand. It doesn’t mean having an unrealistic expectation that everything needs to be perfect, or ‘go your way’, rather, that you have clear goals of what you want to achieve, and what you are prepared to do/accept in order to achieve them. It also doesn’t necessarily mean you advocate to others. Sometimes, as strange as it sounds, you need to advocate to yourself, for yourself too…

So, this week, I can say that I learnt some very powerful things that I believe will serve me incredibly well as a teacher:

• If I don’t have faith in myself, how can I expect my students to have faith in me either?
• Taking responsibility for yourself and your own learning journey is not always easy, and that self-advocating and negotiating is okay.
• That just because you have had a tough upbringing, it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and achieve your goals alongside everyone else. No excuses.
• That it’s important I respect and listen to my students when they advocate/attempt to advocate for themselves. This will help to reinforce to them, that they are worthy of being heard.

I've mentioned before that I really believe in the importance of teacher-student relationships. After reflection this week, I also believe that defining and encouraging self-advocacy to a student (of any age) is a vital component in building strong, authentic rapport. Finally, I don't think self-advocation needs to be seen as troublesome in the classroom. When taught the right way, it can provide the student with the opportunity to be responsible for themselves, and to have a sense of ownership, and control over their learning. 

And I think that's a wonderful gift to teach.